Has anybody yet received the aha or eureka moment on top of their toilet seat? I would like to believe I have. Some people have sleepless nights thinking about life...purpose and all that.
Honestly, sitting atop your throne for 1/2 an hour or more every day(depends if you're vegan, vegetarian, non vegetarian... I don't know, I am no poop doctor) is another feeling all together (unless you got to push...eesh!).
Surrounded by your foul bowel stenches that incite your thoughts to fizzle and defrost after a good night's sleep or if you're like me...before you take a trip down surrealism.
I believe that some food items create stenches so strong that they resurrect your deceased mind after a long day or a long night. Of course, stenches like those are not meant for the weak hearted and therefore must be avoided to be let go off in public restrooms. I mean why share your gas of enlightenment with people who do not appreciate it.
Now, aha...yes, the gas of enlightenment. It awakens your senses and breathes into your mind the strength to read thoughts such as these on the internet. But that is nothing but mild gas.
The cocaine of this post is truly the good ol' dumpinstein. Dr. Dumpinstein...sometimes mistakenly called Dr. Dump In Style. The doctor is the true therapist. You see the great doctor is a specialist (probably, well versed in the theories given by Freud...who else is an intelligent sick f***k). Once you are well plopped in his psychiatrist rest you are in safe hands. Your thoughts seem to pour out.
My daily sessions with the doc are pretty kickass. I swear by it. I mean when in the world will I otherwise reveal my inner thoughts of how TV shows finds such awesome songs and whether or not flight MH 370 was consumed by a time warp that defies all of the physics I have learnt watching the Big Bang Theory.
I think I take a lot away from my sessions with the great doctor. It is as if he pulls out all the waste and negetivity from my body and helps my creative juices flow.
Sometimes, I think I might need the doctor more than once in the day. Of course the doctor is not always punctual now...sometimes he refuses to visit and sometimes he won't stop visiting. I think it is because of his two assistants Constipation and Diarrhea (seriously, something's just have such fancy arse names). I mean imagine them being knighted Sir Constipation of Leaveusdam and Dame Diarrhoea of Pleasestopville both ruling a country call Flushingdom.Yet never in harmony with the good town folk each visiting on and off whenever they like to return from whatever hell hole they have been leaving in.
Anyway, sometimes I cheat on the doctor and visit a masseuse called Showerella, she has the best thoughts on what I should do with my life. I am always so refreshed after I see her every morning (for all those who do not shower...you stink...literally).
Jokes apart...sometimes I have sessions with the doctor after my showers...those aren't very pleasant. Well, because I am forever struggling and trying to get another appointment.
However, when the doctor visits, you go. And I mean it...you go. Because holding in waste and negativity is so pointless...even if it is after a shower.
Anyway, I think I have spent enough time typing this on my phone over the seat.
Good session Doc!
Honestly, sitting atop your throne for 1/2 an hour or more every day(depends if you're vegan, vegetarian, non vegetarian... I don't know, I am no poop doctor) is another feeling all together (unless you got to push...eesh!).
Surrounded by your foul bowel stenches that incite your thoughts to fizzle and defrost after a good night's sleep or if you're like me...before you take a trip down surrealism.
I believe that some food items create stenches so strong that they resurrect your deceased mind after a long day or a long night. Of course, stenches like those are not meant for the weak hearted and therefore must be avoided to be let go off in public restrooms. I mean why share your gas of enlightenment with people who do not appreciate it.
Now, aha...yes, the gas of enlightenment. It awakens your senses and breathes into your mind the strength to read thoughts such as these on the internet. But that is nothing but mild gas.
The cocaine of this post is truly the good ol' dumpinstein. Dr. Dumpinstein...sometimes mistakenly called Dr. Dump In Style. The doctor is the true therapist. You see the great doctor is a specialist (probably, well versed in the theories given by Freud...who else is an intelligent sick f***k). Once you are well plopped in his psychiatrist rest you are in safe hands. Your thoughts seem to pour out.
My daily sessions with the doc are pretty kickass. I swear by it. I mean when in the world will I otherwise reveal my inner thoughts of how TV shows finds such awesome songs and whether or not flight MH 370 was consumed by a time warp that defies all of the physics I have learnt watching the Big Bang Theory.
I think I take a lot away from my sessions with the great doctor. It is as if he pulls out all the waste and negetivity from my body and helps my creative juices flow.
Sometimes, I think I might need the doctor more than once in the day. Of course the doctor is not always punctual now...sometimes he refuses to visit and sometimes he won't stop visiting. I think it is because of his two assistants Constipation and Diarrhea (seriously, something's just have such fancy arse names). I mean imagine them being knighted Sir Constipation of Leaveusdam and Dame Diarrhoea of Pleasestopville both ruling a country call Flushingdom.Yet never in harmony with the good town folk each visiting on and off whenever they like to return from whatever hell hole they have been leaving in.
Anyway, sometimes I cheat on the doctor and visit a masseuse called Showerella, she has the best thoughts on what I should do with my life. I am always so refreshed after I see her every morning (for all those who do not shower...you stink...literally).
Jokes apart...sometimes I have sessions with the doctor after my showers...those aren't very pleasant. Well, because I am forever struggling and trying to get another appointment.
However, when the doctor visits, you go. And I mean it...you go. Because holding in waste and negativity is so pointless...even if it is after a shower.
Anyway, I think I have spent enough time typing this on my phone over the seat.
Good session Doc!
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